Florida No More: Will Hurricanes Lose Bush the Election?

Because there’s no Florida left to screw up the voting!


Received from the future: Late October 2004
During August and September, a series of violent hurricanes (Charley, Frances and Ivan) completely destroyed the US state of Florida, forcing President George Bush to reduce the number of US states to 49. The entire state vanished, swept away into the ocean by the extreme weather.

‘Florida just ain’t there no more’, said President Bush at the time. ‘And now I got my brother Jeb and his family camped out in the Lincoln bedroom. They’re driving me batshit crazy. I can tell you, the Bush family has never experienced a humanitarian crisis of this magnitude’.
But worse was to come. The Bush Administration had spent four years ignoring the effects of industrial pollution on the atmosphere, as well as the threat of global warming and extreme weather. It had failed to ratify the Kyoto Protocol, or recognise the effects of carbon dioxide pollution. Ironically, this ignorance was to destroy Bush’s chances to emulate the ‘theft of presidency’ that occured in 2000.
With no Florida left to exploit in the 2004 election, the Republicans have their work cut out for them. This time, they may actually have to depend on the uncontrollable beast is that is the voting public. Unless they find another state (above water) where they can compromise the vote…
Further reading:
Following the controversial 2000 election, investigative journalist Greg Palast was instrumental in uncovering the incredible levels of Florida voting debacle instigated by friends of the Bush family. Read More »
Hurricanes May Affect Florida Politics »
A message from God? – the election and the hurricanes
[Thanks to to damnnamething2001 on p45rant.com for giving me the idea for this].

daev
Chief Bottle Washer at Blather

Writer, photographer, environmental campaigner and “known troublemaker” Dave Walsh is the founder of Blather.net, described both as “possibly the most arrogant and depraved website to be found either side of the majestic Shannon River”, and “the nicest website circulating in Ireland”. Half Irishman, half-bicycle. He lives in southern Irish city of Barcelona.


4 comments

  1. What can teenagers do to help out flordia? Do we need to do a fundraiser to get money,or send food? I want to know because i want to help.

  2. Hey, there’s still California. If it’s two states where you can rig elections without complaint it’s (was) Florida and California.
    I also don’t think that quote was by Dubyah, there is zero percent chance that he would use ‘humanitarian’ and ‘magnitude’ so lucidly in the same sentence.

  3. Florida does still exist, it’s not underwater as you suggest. Kerry doesn’t deserve to win this election all he does is talk crap and help out the terrorists. Kerry’s wife owns businesses in other countries that ALL use what money is made to help terrorists come to the USA. At least Bush has some friggin idea what’s going on in the world and doesn’t change his response to questions each time they’re asked. GO BUSH!!!

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