Today we salute Kevin Myers, possibly the greatest mong on the island of Ireland. And Lord knows, there’s quite some competition…
The Irish Times has carried yet another turgid rant from Supertroll Kevin Myers – again disgracing the pages where Flann O’Brien once wrote. Having previously insulted just about every ethnic, religious and secular group in the country, Supertroll has turned his attentions to unmarried mothers. Or, as he so delightfully puts it ‘MoB’s’ – Mothers of Bastards.
Copyright laws prohibit me from copying the complete text of the article, but I’ll give you just this small sample of Supertroll’s latest discharge:
“Even as things stand, we are bribing the unmotivated, the confused, the backward, the lazy into making the worst career decision of their young lives, and becoming professional unmarried mothers, living off the State until the grave takes over. Our welfare system is creating benefits-addicted, fatherless families who will be raised in a culture of personal and economic apathy – and from such warped timber, true masts are seldom hewn.”
Where to begin? Well let’s seeeeeeeeee. Ok, how about the choice of the word ‘lazy’ to describe single mothers. Well, Kevin dear, my sister is a single mother.
Allow me to paint you a little picture: She rises at about six in the morning. She makes breakfast for her two children. Whilst they eat she makes their lunches. She gets them to school. Then she goes to work for five hours. After that she comes home, cleans the house and tries to find two hours to work on her writing (she’s a published writer) after which she cooks dinner for her two kids. When she’s done with that she attends an AA meeting. Then she comes home, helps the kids with their homework, cleans again, helps with more homework, gets the kids to bed and collapses into bed to try to sleep over the sound of the gang-warfare and screaming outrside her northside Dublin council house window.
A lazy bastard no less?
How dare you describe her as lazy, you feckless, talentless hack. She does three times the work that you ever will and recieves no help from the Government or the useless scumbag that she had the misfortune to marry. Yes, the same scumbag that the Irish judicial system seems to have gone out of it’s way to protect.
Fatherless Kevin? You’re damned right those children are fatherless. Frankly, I would rather see them recieving the parenting you so desperately lament from Osama Bin Laden than from a father that doesn’t care for them.
Or perhaps Kevin, it hadn’t entered that cabbage on your shoulders that sometimes a mother is single by choice?
Backward? Are you for real? Your medieval, McCarthy-like witch-hunt rant has betrayed you as the only one in this exchange who can truly be described as backward.
Apathy Kevin? You speak of apathy? Not a day goes by when I don’t marvel at the staggering levels of energy which my sister throws into raising her kids and which she lavishes into helping those less fortunate than herself through her work (she works in the back to work schemes you laugh at) and in AA.
Let me ask you….
Let me ask you Kevin – were you bullied as a boy? Did Mommy not hug you enough? Did Daddy fuck you in the ass with a rolled up tricolour? Did a single-mother tie you up during a particularly wild college scat-game and shit down your gullet? Just what happened to turn you into such a vile, insensitive human being?
Or perhaps I should just stop wasting my time asking you questions (the courtesy you extend to no-one) and just see you for what you are: a tired, old, pathetic crank whose time has passed.
Or perhaps even better still I should see you simply as a colleague (oh yes, by the way, we’ve been discussing you over lunch Kevin, and everyone, to a man, thinks you are a joke) just described you – ‘a taxi-driver with a laptop’.
Bastardgate – the awful truth
I, mother of bastards