PopeIdol. Day 3: Dan Brown readers terrorised by ghost of JP2

Just when we thought things couldn’t get any weirder than they were (silver hammers across the head?), it appears that readers of The Davinci Sham, sorry Code, have been recieving spectral visits from the recently departed Pontiff…

Dan Brown must consider himself a lucky man. Despite having flagrantly lifted all of the material for the Davinci Code from the work of other writers and historians and possesing the writing ability of a dead, dyslexic Donkey he has sold an almost unimaginable amount of books, and then has the sheer neck to claim that ‘All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate‘.
Well, now it would appear that readers of the squillion-selling Davinci Code are being visited by the spectral form of none other than the late Pontiff John Paul II. And the Big man is after Brown himself.
Says Margorie Chunk, from New Orleans: “I was sitting there, ya know, reading my book and then all of a sudden, like from out of nowhere a man dressed in white appeared. He was old. Very old” We asked Marjorie if the figure had attempted to communicate with her. “Oh mu Lord yes!” she told us excitedly, “He pointed at my copy of the Davinci Code and said ‘Stop reading that piece of sh*t!'”
But it doesn’t stop there. Humorless McFuckwit, from Clontarf, was reading his copy of the novel at home in bed when he was visited by a ghostly figure bearing a resemblance to the deceased Pole who fumed “What the hell is wrong with you people? 3000 years of the written word and you choose to buy this pile of steaming bilge? Ha? Oscar Wilde? Agatha Christie? Homer? Ovid? Maeve Binchy? And you choose to buy this knock-off airport rag of a book? Just wait till I get my hands on that filthy little infidel. I’m gonna shove this Crozier up his ass!”
The Vatican were unavailable for comment this morning saying that they had some meetings to attend to.
Anyone else got any nice Pope related books that they can suggest reading or Pope related movies to watch? Suggestions in a comment please…
Previous PopeIdol:
Blather presents ‘PopeIdol!’ Day 1: Who should get the job
‘PopeIdol’. Day 2: It’s Ladies Night!

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