Ok. So he didn’t get the World Bank job and he hasn’t managed to get those debts relieved. He’s climbed the highest mountain and walked through the sea. So, now, how about a shot at the Papacy?
Well, let’s take a look at his C.V., shall we? Grand. Lead singer of the ‘biggest band on the planet’. Tireless campaigner for third-world debt relief. Pain in George Bush’s ass. Natty choice in clothes. All round decent bloke.
But to help you decide, we put together this list of the top five reasons why it would be unspeakably cool if Bono was the Pope.
1. He can actually sing and would bring a touch of class to those dull Latin hymns. Throw in a snarling guitar lick, sampled Russian rifle discharge for a drum track, and Monkhouse is yer uncle.
2. He’d be the first Pope in a millenium who would actually have a clue what was going on in the outside world.
3. He’s a foul-mouthed Irishman (in the best sense of those words) which would bring a novel quality to discussions with other church leaders. “Foooking aaaaaay man!”
4. He’d be wearing shades while he said mass. Nuff said.
5. He’s done more for people in poverty in sub-Saharan Africa than 25 years of posturing, whining and fearmongering by the current Vatican administration ever has.
So. Have you other suggestions? Reasons why Bono should be Pope? Suggestions in a comment please…
(Artwork by Visionary)