Frank Ward Dies on Ostrich Farm

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Who could have known that the story of Ireland’s Taoiseach Bertie Ahern’s solicitors Frank Ward & Co. threatening politics.ie into silence would take this truly shocking twist? Frank Ward, the Senior Managing Partner (capital S, capital M, capital P) and Founder (capital F) of Frank Ward & Company, Solicitors (capital F, capital W, capital C, capital S) has been found dead following a horrific incident on his Kilkenny ostrich farm!


Frank’s Company (capital C) was Founded (with a capital F) in 1981 and represented Fianna Fail in the McCracken Tribunal and Flood Tribunal, and currently represents Fianna Fail in the Mahon Tribunal and the Moriarty Tribunal.
Blather.net has been told all the details of his sad demise, and our hearts go out to his next of kin on this bitter evening.
Apparently, Frank had been inspecting the [noun deleted for legal reasons] on his ostrich farm, a rather gruelling task, and as it happened the quite [adjective deleted for legal reasons] ostriches had just [verb deleted for legal reasons] the [noun deleted for legal reasons], and Frank just happened to be standing where the [subject deleted for legal reasons] was going to [verb deleted for legal reasons] into the [object deleted for legal reasons]. Needless to say, the shit hit the [second half of sentence deleted for legal reasons]. What a way to go.

barry
Barry Kavanagh writes fiction, and has made music, formerly with Dacianos.

Contact him here.

4 comments

  1. That is quite a mysterious (deleted noun), I love a good story. Well did the Ostriche or (name deleted for lager reasons)hit the fan first. Poor Frank, the luck of the Irish was not with im.
    Heres something completely different. Did you know, oh my brothers that the sons of George Herbert Walker Bush are the grandsons of Aleister Crowley by Barbara Pierce?
    Barbara Pierce became pregnant by Aleister Crowley and had a daughter named, Barbara. Later to be married to the above mentioned oil tycoon. Thus. You figure out the rest, I’m counting on you. As you have professed the knowledge of [named left out for bewitchful reasons], the great man, known to some as the most “evil man in the world” or was it the most devilish. I don’t recall now, but sounds cool!

  2. That is quite a mysterious (deleted noun), I love a good story. Well did the Ostriche or (name deleted for lager reasons)hit the fan first. Poor Frank, the luck of the Irish was not with im.
    Heres something completely different. Did you know, oh my brothers that the sons of George Herbert Walker Bush are the grandsons of Aleister Crowley by Barbara Pierce?
    Barbara Pierce became pregnant by Aleister Crowley and had a daughter named, Barbara. Later to be married to the above mentioned oil tycoon. Thus. You figure out the rest, I’m counting on you. As you have professed the knowledge of [named left out for bewitchful reasons], the great man, known to some as the most “evil man in the world” or was it the most devilish. I don’t recall now, but sounds cool!

  3. So what he’s saying is that if there was any truth to the crazy ideas people have about Aleister Crowley being the devil and all. Well, then I guess that would Make George jr. Marvin and Jeb Bush-the three grandsons of the devil.
    That would explain alot of the evil crap that little GWBush has pulled off, as well as his evil twin in Election Fraud, his brother Jeb-governour of Florida.
    Now Marvin Bush was the owner of SecurCom, the company that handled security for the World Trade Center complex.
    These grandsons fit the bill for three of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
    Spooky Connections!

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