Blather
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Sick fish and a pasted-in blatherboy. Doncha love that Google, eh? A gentleman by the name of Andrew Lange emailed me earlier today, telling me that he'd found a Googlewhack on blather.net. He'd found 'superimposition blatherskite' in the Klaatu Barada Nikto article on Blather.net So I tried my hand at it. Found valetudinarian conger. Whoohoo! A Googlewhack, by way, is when you search for two words (without quotes) in Google, and come up just ONE result. Getting a fat zero doesn't count. It's not too difficult: Thought of an obscure word: valetudinarian. Then did composite searches valetudinarian banana (21) get...

Blather
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The latest craze in Northern Ireland - crashing tractors! Here's Monday's surreal news of the day... Young farmers in a rural area outside the Co Antrim town have taken to using their tractors to perform an unusual rite of passage, in which they deliberately steer their vehicles at road signs and plough them over (Irish News) More from IC Northern Ireland >> More from irishnews.com (needs registration)>>

Blather
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It's offical, blather.net is 97% evil! Blather.net is proud to announce that we've been awarded a '97% evil' award from the Gematriculator, a bumper website indeed: Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel. If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God's number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text. Another important aspect in gematria are the numerical values of letters: A=1, B=2 ... I=9, J=10,...

Blather
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Inventor of the steam-gramaphone, godfather of hippity-hoppity, and first man to conquer Howth Head and Bognor Regis in the same year. Born into a Longford family of wealthy Anglo-Norman traditional leech wranglers, D'Arcy was educated at Clongowes and both in and behind the Manzor's Inn in Clane. By the age of 14 he had mastered the arts of archery, arson and arachnaid gymnastics, and by 15, had received a caution for alleged acts of firemongering, using arrows tipped with spider-poison. An angry mob of Presentation nuns and Cistercian monks presented itself at the funerals of the deceased clergy. Then it...

Blather
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The scene: A TV news studio in south London. Token Asian Presenter and Francis Tusa have just been discussing the latest use of cluster bombs on a village of Iraqi goat-herders... <!-- --> Francis: "...and cooked their asses good" Cuts back to Token Asian Presenter, who has now assumed a supremely smug smile. Token Asian Presenter: "Fantasic. And now we move on to a happier item. Three months ago, 8 year old Saheeb Al-Sabba Al Sabba had both his legs blown off when a Coalition forces patriot missile tore through his window and blasted him thirty five feet into the...

Blather
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Rooting back through old emails, found this gem... Name: Joey email: roscommonsuck@######.com comments: hey i am from roscommon and i was wondering about a nice lookin girl from life style sports enniskillian shopping centre . i saw her there saturday and i had the real bright dyed hair she was in her teens and had black hair and lovely eyes could you read this out and if she rings in or txts could u give my email addy or email me or call me on 35390###### please i can't stop thinking of her. or txt her my number please read...

Blather
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Episode 1: The North-side Dublin party... Original text by Damien DeBarra and Conor Ryan. Theme music fades out and background noise fades in.. Background noise: pub in full swing, clinking glasses, thumping music, loud chatter, shrieking laughter etc etc. Dr. Sparkplug: (speaking in a ridiculous pesudo-Attenborough academic tone, all hushed conspiracy and earnest passion) “Good evening and welcome to the inaugural episode in this new radio series entitled ‘In our World’, with me your host Dr. Archimedes J. Sparkplug. In this show we shall attempt to probe the anthropological mysteries of life as we know it, in the Ireland of...

Blather
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Financial transactions found in the east coat area of Ireland were probably made the Celtic Tiger, the Central Bank has said. The white collar welfare charity and gardai have been searching the area since Friday following reports of a big cat being spotted. People have been warned not to approach the animal which is believed to be between the Dublin 4 and Killiney areas. There have been up to 23 sightings of the animal, but the rough terrain has made it difficult to capture. However, gardai have made plastercasts of credit card transactions found in the area and these have...

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Blather.net made it into today's Irish Mirror, thanks to our 'Bertie and Ernie... Muppa!' Get yourself a Muppa! T-Shirt We're almost embarrassed. The Mirror describes the t-shirt as 'controversial'. We would have said satirical?, if a little lazy. We also, apparently mention on the wireless, by an RTE gentleman with the improbable name of 'Ryan Tubridy'. Read the Daily Mirror article

The Taking of Caravaggio's The Taking of Christ
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Blather's Dave Walsh attempts to take The Taking of Christ BLATHER'S Dave Walsh was yesterday licking his wounds after security personnel ejected him from the National Gallery of Ireland in Merrion Square, Dublin. Walsh's The Taking of Caravaggio's The Taking of Christ (click image for t-shirt) A spokesperson for the Gallery said that Walsh was attempting to wrestle Caravaggio's The Taking of Christ from the wall of the gallery, while making loud comments about 'blasted picturehooks' and wearing a the blue jersey of the Italian national cycling team. According to witnesses, Walsh was dragged by his heels from the room,...