Blather
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Ireland for 2026 Winter Olympics? This is wonderful... and slightly surreal. The world climate is changing and there is a distinct possibility that the climate in the west of Ireland is heading for a mini ice-age at some point in the not too distant future. www.winterolympics2026.com

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I can't do this no more. I just can't. I quit my job yesterday and in a fit of merriment went to the boozer for 'one' at 5.30. 4 hours later I staggered, drooling and panting out the door, up the road, into a lamppost, back down the road, up the road again, up some steps and towards my house. There was some fumbling with keys, some more drooling and a short ignominious tumble through the front door. I then decided that it would be a great time to ring the missus and make foul, depraved suggestions at her which...

Blather
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Ok. I admit it. I was at home alone. I was desperate. It was either watch Big Brother, or watch yet another tedious fucking home improvement programme with 'oh so plucky and whimsical music' and Carol Voderman dragging her increasingly flabby arse around the screen... So I ended up watching Big Brother. I kmow: the shame. The SHAME. However, whilst i was half watching/half contemplating throwing myself out the window, a thought struck me. These poor bastards have been stuck in this house for about 60 days. That's 60 days with no privacy. 60 days with cameras following their every...

Blather
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Taken from the 'never to be finished in a millenia of sundays' novel Mysterious Ways... Michael was having a rough day. He decided that a drink would be a good idea. A very good idea indeed... He shuffled through the door of the pub and straight to the bar without looking at any of the forlorn figures who were scattered around the tables and chairs. “Howdy pardner” said Conor from behind the bar. He was a tall and gaunt man, with unkempt black hair and huge, bent Roman nose which had quite obviously seen better days. His chin was decorated...

Blather
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The ectasy of Irish motoring and spelling mistooks... Was driving to Galway last Friday... between Kilcock and Enfield, saw a sign outside out a house advertising 'Leather Suits'. 'Leather suits? Who the fuck wears leather suits?' I thought. Who stops and buys clothes at houses on the N6 anyway? Was I driving to into some midlands kinkiness? Would I get a free coffee enema when I stopped for petrol in Kinnegad? Would that rest-stop place in Athlone have a sex shop & auto factor combo, sandwiched between Dominoes Pizza and MacDonalds? Was JG Ballard involved? Of course, about 2km later,...

Blather
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Lost subatomic particle lost, then found again... An Irish doctor who found a missing subatomic particle in his attic, has flown it back to its home in the Petersburg Nuclear Physics Institute in Russia. The particle is thought to be the Quark of the Covenant. Ian McLenin, from County Donegal, recognised the tiny particle, a pentaquark, captured it and quietly flew it back to Russia. It had been taken from Russia in 1812 by a French secret agent. The pentaquark, five-quark particle, is thought to have been used to fuel the the Israelites trip to the Promised Land, where they...

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The Blather guide to being a real woman... Inspired by this thread on P45.... 1. Wear PVC cat-suits and terrify men 2. Wake up in the morning with perfect hair 3. Skydive out a low flying aeroplane moments after inserting a sanitary product into your unmentionables. smile like an idiot. 4. Flick your hair. A lot. 5. Dress like a crack whore femme-fetale and have men falling at your feet without ever sacrificing your feminist principles. 6. Be a hard assed space commander of a crew of roughneck yeehahs without compromising your essential maternal nature. 7. Strap on an enormous...

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(image by yersinia, used under a Creative Commons license) The Blather guide to being a real man. Oh yes. 1. Open a bra with one hand. 2. Resolve Schroedinger's equation for a Cobalt electron in an elevated energetic state. 3. Kill a live animal, skin it, cook it and eat it without salt. 4. Calm a wild angry grizzly bear by staring it into submission. 5. Find the clitoris. 6. Defuse a nuclear weapon in seven seconds. 7. Rescue a group of hostages from a burning building filled with East German terrorists, using nothing more than a half-empty machine gun,...

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cross the road? Inspired by this thread on p45 Why did the chicken cross the road? (all written by Dave Walsh, 'cept the birdbath one, which was written by birdbath) Flann O'Brien: Sure didn't he cross because he wanted to avail of the great novelty that was the atomic theory, which was at work everywhere in the parish. By the time, begob, that he had reached the other side, that very chicken was already 10% road. And 5% bicycle. More Flann >> Hunter S. Thompson To get away from those fucking bats. Out there, on the edge of the desert,...

Blather
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No more semi-loitering for tourists A group of traders in the Grafton St./Nassau St. area of Dublin have called for a minimum speed to be introduced. The group estimates that more than €100 million is being lost annually due to 'slow walking'. 'It get especially bad in June', said a spokesman, owner of a business on Nassau St. ' People can't out to buy lunch, or to meetings. Once the tourists arrive, no one can get up or down the street, it all grinds to a halt. These people may walk like this in their own country, but they should...