Month: January 2005

blather.net
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Dave told many of us last week that he was 'going to France'... "Well, I am, bound for Lorient, via the island of Madeira. Right now, I'm in a gale, a hundred nautical miles west of northern Portugal/North West Spain. "The Esperanza left Falmouth last Friday night, with 34 crew on board, including guests from French farming organisations. One of them is the famous Jose Bove - you may remember him from a few years ago, when he was involved in a high-profile 'dismantling' of a new MacDonalds restaurant, in Larzac, in the South of France. He's also famous for his impressive walrus moustache, his old-skool pipe, and his nickname in the French media: Asterix "Late yesterday afternoon, about halfway between the coast of Portugal and Madeira, we tracked down our quarry - *The Golden Lion*, on its way from Argentina to France with a cargo of animal feeds, made...

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Our research shows that most of the internet consists of Bobby Darin websites. Imagine our surprise when we ventured to find out exactly what the internet consists of, and we discovered that even the millions of porn sites add up to a relatively minor outpost of the net, compared to the amount of Bobby Darin sites. As of yet there is no rational explanation. One theory is that the internet was originally developed so that scientists could share information about Bobby Darin. Upon his death in 1973, Darin's body was donated to the UCLA Medical Center for research purposes. The need for international dialogue between scientists may have gained impetus from this, leading to the development of the internet. However, a spokesman for Bobby Darin has insisted that "scientists have only ever discussed Bobby's singing career" and that his cadaver cannot possibly justify literally billions of websites.

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Sent in from our western correspondent' (a.k.a. Sue) There have been many incredible developments in the rain swept west this week. Such excitement! The Wheelie Bins of Change can be heard rumbling through Tuam, as the town embraces the Age of Technology'? The Tuam Herald reports that 15,000 bins have been implanted with 'hi-tech' chips, allowing a satellite to track the weight of its contents. According to Wheelie Environmental Refuse Services (WERS), this will give more control over the cost of refuse disposal. But to whom - the people, or the authorities? Right, at the danger of falling prey to insane conspiracy theories - is Galway County Council now spying on the waste habits of Tuamanians? Will the fair inhabitants of Tuam be next for implanting of these 'hi-tech' chips? How much easier it will be to keep Tuam clean when everyone can be programmed to do so! On a...

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Guess who's coming to town? Finally, thankfully, mercifully, Dead Can Dance have announced their tour dates for the highly anticipated 2005 reunion tour. I can guarantee that at least one blather correspondent will be going... Date: Thursday March 10, 2005 Venue: Olympia Theatre, Dublin Black Sun Murderer! Man of fire. Murderer! I've seen the eyes of living dead. It's the same game - survival. The great mass play a waiting game. Embalmed, crippled, dying in fear of pain. All sense of freedom gone. Black sun in a white world. Like having a black sun in a white world. I have a son, His name is Eden. It's his birthright, Beyond estranged time. Give me 69 years, Another season in this hell. It's all sex and death as far as I can tell. Like Prometheus we are bound, Chained to this rock of a brave new world, Our godforsaken lot. And...

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Blather correspondent Sue plays Ophelia in a new production of Bill Shakepeare's Hamlet... In Galway in January? Sue is Ophelia in a new interpretation of Morwax's production of Hamlet at the Town Hall Theatre. Set in the 1930s, and directed by Peadar de Burca, the cast includes John Leyne as Hamlet, with John E. Regan, Rose Flynn, Sue Walsh, Danny Cronin and John Tuohy. It's on from the 24th to the 29th of January, tickets cost €16/€14 Tickets from the Town Hall Theatre » I do not know, my lord, what I should think. - Ophelia

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A cheerful piece of verse, found on a headstone in Co. Meath... (click for larger version) 'O cruel Death, you well may boast Of all tyrants thou art the most As you all mortals can Control The Lord have Mercy on my soul' Charming!