Blather Editorial Staff OUTRAGED at Lack of Allegations of Mi5 Collusion

[DUBLIN] Horror and outrage at Blather HQ, as list of ‘revealed’ Mi5 spooks fails to include a single member of the Blather High Command.

Second last to get picked for football. That’s what we were as young childer. Second last to get picked. Not last to get picked you understand, oh no, but second last. I can’t remember what happened to the guy who was always picked last (I think he may be a hedge fund manager now) but I do recall the lasting psychological damage that it inflicted on the poor lad. Bed-wetting. Tantrum-throwing. Public masturbation. An audition on the X Factor. Spells ‘helping the Gardai with their inquiries’. That class of thing.
It’s a terrible low, gut-wrenching feeling to be unloved and unwanted. Lord knows most especially at this time of year. And well, readers dear, we hate to spoil the festive holiday mood, but today, yes today, we, the exalted leadership of the good ship, are the last to get picked for football. And we’re not happy.
Not. One. Bit.
Complete scum
Allow us to explain: wading our way through the usual deluge of spam, scum, slime, sleaze and steaming excrement which clogs our inbox of a morning, we were OUTRAGED to discover that sometime Blather collaborator Mark Pilkington has been outed as an Mi5 spook on the conspiracy theory website Richplanet:

Pilkington has worked for the MI5 infiltrated “Fortean Times” and more recently has teamed up with John Lundberg to make the disinformation film “Mirage Men”. The two of them travelled to parts of America preying on un-suspecting Ufologists who unwittingly agreed to be debunked on camera. The close association of Pilkington and Lundberg along with Pilkingtons association with Fortean Times tells us that he is very likely on the MI5 payroll too.

I always knew Pilkington was a spook. Always. Even when I said he was a writer, journalist, editor, DJ, events organiser and Dave Gahan impersonator, I knew he was an Mi5 spook. Knew it I tell ye. In me waters.
More scum
And he’s not alone. Oh no. Lord no. Also listed in this rogue’s gallery of counter-cultural government shills are authors John Lundberg, Ewan McGregor Jon Ronson, Matt Glubb, Andy Roberts, Dr. David Clarke and last but not least, the Mata Hari of the whole dang shebang, journalist/cyborg/time-travelling fembot Gemma Charles.
Okay. Now, we’ve no problems with that. Lord no.
Here’s our problem: where, may we ask, are the members of on this list? Eh? Nowhere. That’s where. Not a footnote, not a hyperlink, not a feckin’ mention.
So, my work on 9/11 isn’t good enough eh? And Barry’s work on Black Market Nukes isn’t up to scratch? Dave’s ground-breaking discoveries about Swedish Lake Monsters don’t cut the mustard, eh? You miserable curs.
Why have we been left out? In the words of another great conspiracy theorist ‘It’s a fucking disgrace!‘ How the hell else are we supposed to seem edgy, cool and hip with the kids? We have a reputation to protect you know.
Total scum
Oh you don’t believe us? OK, get yer goggs round this:
Ha? What do you make of that you lousy good-for-nothing hacks? As is starkly demonstrated by this shocking image, the monstrous Pilkington (left), myself (middle) and Dr. David Luke (right) are clearly in cahoots. I mean just look at us – we’re conspiring so hard here we’re damn near sweating.
In fact, just moments after this shot was taken, I can now reveal, the three of us stripped off out of our human suits and proceeded inside the to the main party where Lizard King Gyrus, Phil the Greek and select members of the Tory party oversaw the sacrifice of Israeli chickens over an altar of burning American dollars. Or was it flags? Dave?
How’s about this?
I probably don’t need to direct your attention to manner in which Pilkington is walking towards the camera – with his head turned at a 35 degree angle, invoking the 14th century Masonic crotch-dance designed to call down the sky fairies of Uranus, but what you may not notice at first (because of your brainwashing at the hands of Ultra-Iluminati Nazi Jihad Jew Lizards) is the subtle manner in which arch-agitator Walsh has his hands on his hips. Oh yes, his hands on his hips – making the classic ‘outward-directed pointy-elbow gesture’ typical of a member of the international intelligence community trained at Mossad in the summer of 1966.
66 people. 66.
It has, in fact, been suggested elsewhere that this image was taken just outside the concealed entrance to the Blather/Mi5 Joint Operations Complex, located under the neolithic ruins atop Avebury. But obviously we can’t confirm that as it might upset our handlers.
A whole new kind of scum
Having presented this evidence, we the membership of Blather High Command hereby demand that we be outed as Mi5 spies/spooks/shills.
Without this recognition, we are lost men. Book-deals will go a-begging. Wanton women will not want to go to bed with us. TV deals will be cancelled. Lunches will have to be paid for. The Blather jet will stop re-fuelling itself.
Quite simply folks, this will not stand.
Join us in demanding that the good citizens of Richplanet give Blather the recognition that it deserves.
Do you get the smell of porter?

From Barry
Now that Pilkington has been outed, this image surely reveals even more agents:
This is the front cover to Salvatore’s 2004 album Luxus. The man on the right watching the band is none other than Mark Pilkington. That appears to be a pint in his hand but in fact it is a deadly weapon made by Q. In the centre we see members of Salvatore, all of whom are in the employ of the Norwegian intelligence services, deployed in ‘musical work’ (i.e. sonic research) for NATO. On the left we see guest musician Caspar Gordon with his trombone. And who is he? None other than one of the schoolchildren who sang on Pink Floyd’s ‘Another Brick in the Wall’, which is another piece in the puzzle, as all those children were recruited to Mi5 during that recording, and have become life-long agents. It now seems that the rumours circulating all these years were true: Pink Floyd were a psy-ops experiment perpetrated on the public by military intelligence.
UPDATE March 2010!
Fortean Times now have an article about the whole shenanigans:
Fortean Times: You Couldn’t Make It Up! FT infiltrated by MI5

Damien DeBarra was born in the late 20th century and grew up in Dublin, Ireland. He now lives in London, England where he shares a house with four laptops, three bikes and a large collection of chairs.


  1. The man seen talking to Dave Walsh at Avebury is sonic warfare specialist and megalithic megabrain Neil ‘Urthona’ Mortimer.
    In the photo I’m pacing out the distance from the microwave reflector (disguised as a standing stone) to a high frequency micro-millimetre brainwave oscillator hidden inside a tree.
    I can’t tell you what the device does except to say… Children of the Stones was closer to the truth than many people realise.
    Happy day!

  2. I, at least, am not in MI5 (or Mi5: is your small ‘i’ supposed to indicate small ‘intelligence’?). Why am I not in MI5? As a black man, I could never be a veteran.

  3. I’m sorry Barry but your story about that being Caspar playing the Trombone simply doesn’t hold water. At all, at all.
    I’ve run this by one of the lads down in the Mi5 labs (Mohammed – nice fella, good with kids) and he’s done some spectographic time-resonance analysis on this. The magnified, photoshopped image clearly shows that Caspar (if indeed that is his name) is getting his laughing gear around an enormous Illuminati spliff.

  4. If you look closely at the Avebury pic, you can CLEARLY see that Agent Walsh not only has his hands on his hips… [suggestive of a “we’ll just see how little you know after I bring out the blather patented gimp electro-prod lube-stick 2000” (TM)]… but that he is actually carrying a portable SAM missile launcher on his back, no doubt in order to shoot down UFO’s hovering over hotspots such as Wiltshire, in a cunning MI5 plan to discredit true believers everywhere.
    The bastard.

  5. is not homogenous. I mean, it’s the kind of place where people spy on each other! Yes, yes, I have been in G2, but I am retired now despite the rumours. I would not be so rude as to confirm that the others are in MI5, or whatever, but they are not and never have been in G2. I will say only that Dave Walsh has shared a house in Dublin with a prominent MI6 operative and the day of reckoning between myself and Walsh is at hand…

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