Month: February 2010

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(image by tm lv, used under a Creative Commons license) Organisers of the first major conference dedicated to climate-change scepticism have announced that the Easter Bunny will be delivering the key-note speech on April 1st this year. In what's being seen as something of a coup for the climate-change sceptics movement, organisers of this first international conference in the discipline have confirmed the appearance of the Easter Bunny. This announcement comes hot on the heels of last week's much-hyped confirmations that Santa Claus, several tooth-fairies and representatives of the Leprechaun community would also be attending the high-profile event. The climate-change sceptic party (often referred to as 'Geebag party') released this statement from the Easter Bunny in which he outlines his reasons for addressing the conference. "Early in April I'll head to Cork, where I'll have the honor of speaking with members of the Geebagger movement. I look forward to meeting...

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George Lee T.D., pictured during his resignation rant in the Dail Eireann canteen at 11am yesterday Scandal and screaming in Dail Eireann as TD George Lee peppers the chamber door with assorted toys fired from an armoured pram. Fine Gael TD George Lee resigned from the Dail in spectacular fashion yesterday morning, when upon finding himself sitting alone in the Dail canteen for the ninth working day in a row (as fellow FGers sat together at the 'cool kids' table), Lee is reported to have flung his food tray at the wall, stamped his feet and launched into a volley of abuse which lasted fully thirty minutes. The tirade is reported to have resulted in his leaving both the FG party and the Dail itself. Mr. Lee is also reported to have been barred from the Dail canteen with Gubnait O'Hoop, catering manager for the Dail quoted as saying, 'we...

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In May of 2010, Blather.net will be thirteen years old. That's thirteen. Puberty, ladies and spambots, is imminent and the wearing of short trousers will no longer be tolerated. In light of this disturbing turn of events (and the increasingly litigious, cut-throat monitoring of general web-activities by THEM), we have felt it necessary to update our Terms and Conditions to reflect this momentous period of change. Putting the shit back in the cow 1. Blogs: Blather.net is not 'a blog'. Anyone referring to us as a 'a blog' will find themselves on the business end of a law-suit that will make them wish they had never been born. We're serious. Don't even try it. Ipso facto - we are not bloggers. We are learned scholars, hewn from the literary granite of the green island of Ireland. Blather.net was publishing extensive treatises on all manner of carry on (first on vellum,...

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Via Roighters: The Irish government today announced that it would immediately align itself with Venezuelan president Victor Chavez in blaming the United States for Everything That's Ever Gone Wrong in History of the Planet, in particular the recent 'cold' weather in Ireland In a surprise briefing to reporters on the steps of Leinster House, Taoiseach Brian Cowen grimaced into the cold February wind, before launching into a tirade against the current US administration. "Now in fairness, I think it's a bit of coincidence how the winters have suddenly gotten colder since Mr Osama took over in the White House", said Mr Cowen. "It was bad enough that we had all those desperate wet summers that Bush man was in charge, but this, quite frankly, is taking the mickey". "Anyone", he added, "only needs to take a read of what they're saying over on blather.net to understand the long and the...

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(image by Que Comuniso!, used under a Creative Commons license) Presidents Chavez and Ahmadinejad blame Obama administration for the Haiti earthquake, conflict in Israel, 13th century plague, the Crusades, the sinking of the Titanic and the clogging of Kim Jong Il's toilet. A special conference, convened by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has met in Caracas Venezuela to explore ways in which alternative historians can justifiably blame the United States of America for any natural, political or military disaster since the dawn of time. Historians, anthropologists, economists and randomly selected performance artists gathered together for a lavish five-day event at the Universidad de Pandejos, Caracas at the invitation of the Venezuelan and Iranian presidents. Radical 'We need a radical re-contextualisation of modern and near-modern history' President Chavez said during his opening key-note address, going on to call for a 'wholesale blaming of the Americans for just...