The Anthropology of Roads
By Dr Stewart Roberts My anthropological study of roads emerged from my observation that motorists and pedestrians seem to ignore the existence of cyclists, as if they are not really present with them on the route ways they traverse. Of course, this led me to suspect that much is going on at the subconscious level, where cyclists are being “filtered out”. It was also quite telling that when motorists and pedestrians do seem to notice cyclists, it is to engage in violent altercations with them. The invention of the bicycle in 1861 represents the beginning of the modern era. Those...
School of Comic Phisics Opens in Dublin
Is this a joke? A clown college? Ah, if Oskie Wilde were only alive to see it now... You can't make this shit up. Two days ago, a little burd (you know you are) told me about a rather surreal spelling mistake on a Dublin Bus stop in Merrion Square. In the buttery sunset (this time of year? Just after lunch.), I stole into the southside in black ninja gear and with my camera bag. Across from Wilde's decadent repose, and a few doors down from the American College, is the School of Cosmic Physics, part of the Dublin Institute...
Wayne Rooney declared stupidest man on Earth
‘Thicker than fossilized dino-dung’ says scientist No? Ok, he hasn’t been called anything of the sort really*. But, recently, I have noticed that there is a common assumption that footballers are thick. Much of the media hoopla and general national hand-wringing that consumed Britain this year during the great ‘Will Wayne go to London or Manchester?’ debacle concerned the young Liverpudlian’s ability to take care of himself. Countless inches of tabloid (and broadsheet) chatter made absurd predictions about his future and nearly always made the parallel between the careers of England’s hottest new star and that of the infamous Gazza....
Nipplegate and Janet Jackson
The final word from guest writer Ian Nicoll. Now the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see... Nips of mass destruction? I happened to be out of the country for Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" during the Super Bowl. In Spain the reaction was...hehe sweet, we got to see Janet's boob! From what I could tell in the British papers, their reaction was something a little more reserved, "By George! I do say that appears to be a nipple! harumph!" Unbeknownest to me America was having a conniption fit of puritanical proportions, "NIPPLES!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO,...
Did Han Solo shoot first?
Back... and to the left. Back... and to the left. Back... and to the left. "This shit is important. The whole basis of our mythology is being rewritten by satans little footsoldiers. You know this" - Sean Doran A recent blog over on P45 (by some random punter) dealt with the staggeringly divisive issue which is the Special Edition of the first Star Wars movie and most notoriously the shooting of Greedo in the Cantina sequence. In the original 1977 version, Han shot first. In the 1997 Special Edition, Greedo shoots first, thus giving Han the justification to blow his...
The Top 10 Lists of All Time!
Finally, a list that lists what we are most interested in: lists! The exciting activity of list-writing has gripped the public imagination in recent years. Some say it is at the expense of "traditional" journalism, but whoever says that should rank no.1 on a list of terminal bores. We will not cease in our list-writing until it has taken over not only 1. newspapers and 2. websites, but 3. novels and 4. poetry too. The no.1 film of all time in a few years time will without a doubt consist of little more than a "list" of scenes, with audiences...
Slieve Blooms Moving to Netherlands
Flat European state gets its first mountains... In a move to foster a closer relationship between the Netherlands and Ireland, the Irish Minister for the Environment, Heritage and Local Government , Mr Martin Cullen today presented his Dutch counterpart, Ms Sybilla Dekker, with a gift of the Slieve Mountains (formerly of Co. Laois). The mountains, recently dismantled, are currently being loaded upon several ships in Dublin port. The mountains are expected to arrive in Utrecht in early September, where they will be reassembled in time for Christmas. 'This is a great day for our two countries', said Minister Cullen. 'Ireland...
Luas tickets ‘unroachable’ says expert
Mayhem in the ranks of pot-heads ensues as Government clamps down... Uproar has greeted the introduction of Dublin's new light-rail system, Luas, which was unveiled this month. Numerous complaints have been lodged with gripes ranging from the outrageously overpriced fares, the garish colour-scheme, the total absence of blank spaces to vandalise, the distinct absence of that much-loved stench of urine and the almost hilarious fact that the two lines do not connect. However, depsite the many grievances which have been acknowledged by Luas authorities, the latest bug-bear to rear it's ugly head, is the complete unroachability of Luas tickets, which...
Ez-Spin: Mops up messes in mere minutes!
Introducing the smart way to remove unwanted spots and stains from your career! Cranky? Irritable? Feeling a bit depressed? Is the UN on your case? Is Amnesty International camped out on your doorstep holding a candlelight vigil? Do you see Weapons of Mass Destruction everywhere? Do you feel threatened by German cuisine? Does the world scare you? Started a war you can’t finish? Are your armed forces doing things they shouldn’t? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then you need new EZ-Spin. Used for years by those in the know, EZ-Spin is the world’s favourite...
Canada completes main human cull
A slight shift in perspective... from Blather.net, inverting the news since 1997... Canadian seals have called a halt to the main thrust of one of the country's largest human culls for more than 50 years. Seal officials counting the number of humans killed in Newfoundland over the past two days have decided that hunters have reached 80% of their 350,000 quota. "The main hunt is closed, seals in small packs can continue to hunt" until the quota is met, a spokesseal said. Human rights groups have criticised the hunt as needlessly cruel. They have accused seals of "attempting to scapegoat...