Victoria Stakes Pub, Crouch End, North London, May 2007

'Explain it to me again' I say.
'Okay' he says, placing a lighter at the top of the table. 'That lighter is the government, okay?'
'Okay'
'Right. And this beermat [places it below the lighter] is the middle-man. The government pay him to contract the job out.'
'To who?'
'To someone like me. Or depending on the size of the job the government agency needs doing, it could be several gangs of lads, assorted companies, that they hire'
'Okay, I'm with you so far'
'Right, now. This pack of smokes [places smokes at bottom of table] represents that company'
'Ok'
'Now, how many smokes in that packet?'
'I dunno. Maybe ten?'
'Right but it's a twenty box'
'Well, it's a sixteen box actually...'
'Yeah, well whatever'
'Sorry'
'OK so. So the government [taps the lighter] hires the middle-man [taps the beermat], who hires the contractor [taps packet of smokes]...'
'Like you?'
'Like me. The thing is though, and this is the killer. when the contractor claims for the wages, he claims for a full pack of smokes'
'Come again?'
'A full pack of smokes. He claims for twenty wages. Not the ten that are actually in the box. These extra smokes, these extra men are what's known in the business as [waggles fingers in the air] "Dead Men"'
'Dead men?'
'Dead men. Men who don't exist. Men who won't be looking for their wages'
'So what happens to the extra ten wages?'
[points at beermat] 'They go back to him. The middleman'
He slaps his pint on the table and belches. 'Another one?' he asks jovially.
'Oh sure, yeah'

'And there's nothing to say 'cos i won't go through it.
And there's nothing to do 'till i put myself up to it.'

+Music+

Talk Amongst Yourselves by Grand National (remixed by Sasha, from the album 'Involver')

+Art+

Image by Dr. Jo

+Annoying Plug-In Widget Wankery+

Imagestream from Flickr (via Gickr.com), search term 'Dead Men'.

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