Recently in War on Teenagers Category

Recently on Globaleyes we've been following the debate in America concerning the inclusion/exclusion of Intelligent Design from schools. Stemming from the absurd comments of President Bush, there has been a concerted effort by Creationists to ram Intelligent Design down the throat of school boards, claiming that the teaching of both ID and evolution is beneficial - allowing students to make up their own minds.

And now, it appears, one school board has not only plumped for this, but has decided in their omnipotent wisdom to redefine science itself.

This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that,' said board member Janet Waugh. The new standards will be used in statewide standardized testing; the students are still expected to know 'basic evolutionary principles.' As part of the decision, the Board of Education also went so far as to redefine science itself, saying that it is 'no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.'"

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Intelligent Design: Idiotic Government

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Ahoy Hoy

Previously on Globaleyes, we had brought you some information regarding interesting developments in the Bushy Park area where a group attempting to build a public skate park were encountering fierce resistance from local residents. The objections of the residents were a touch hard to get a handle on, but mostly it seemed to stem from pure, unadulterated snobbery: part of smug, McDowell-loving midlle-Ireland's War on Teenagers.

Now, in an effort to fight back against a concerted misinformation campaign and to help spread the word about the benefits of such a skate park, the group have created that fundamental weapon in any modern campaign for social change: the website.

"Plans for a public skatepark in Bushy park are being challenged by a number of public representatives.

The councillors and TDs in question are objecting to the park in response to concerns raised by local residents. We've set this website up both to address such concerns, and also to act as a rallying point for the huge number of people who support the park."

The site gives a list of key stakeholders in the project, lists those who object (plus a rather amusing list of reasons why) and an online petition which you can sign. I'd encourage everyone reading this to take a look at the site and take the time to sign the petition.

Sadly, the site does seem to lack one key thing: a persuasive argument as to why the skate park would be a good thing for the community. Experts in Scotland have been telling us for the best part of the last decade that skate parks are demonstrably effective in reducing anti-social behaviour and crime. Sadly, this site doesn't make this as clear as it could be. I don't say this to snipe: rather in the hope that those spearheading the campaign will bear this in mind when trying to articulate their point to a cynical community and a uninterested media.

+Find out more+

Bushypark skate park (dead link)

+Google Earth PlaceMarker+

If you have Google Earth installed, you can click on this link and use the specially created Blather Placemarker to fly directly to Bushy Park and dig around for yourself. If you don't have it installed then for the love of all that's holy go here and get the thing. You bloody luddites.

+SKATEFUCK UPDATE: How To Find Bushy Park SkatePark+
There are some comments below (and in e-mails) from some of you contemptible scum, moaning that you can't find Bushy Park Skatepark. As we're a benevolent bunch here at, we decided to furnish you with some directions. You mongs. This is a google map link showing you where the park is: Google Maps link to Bushy Park

And if that doesn't make you happy, then go call Dublin Corpo and let them tell you.

image_helen.gifFirst it was the Crazy frog. Then it was George Bush turning down the chance to save millions of lives in Africa. And now it's this: twittering, idiotic, gobshite Irish parents leaping on their soapboxes, scrambling on to their moral high horses and grabbing their rolling pins to indulge in what they they believe to be their God-given right as Irish citizens - talking complete and total shite. I'm telling ye - I can't take much more of this.

+Surprise, surprise+

As many of you will know, a horrific recent accident in Ireland claimed the lives of five school girls in Co. Meath: an incident which caused nationwide grief and anger at the disgraceful condition of our school bus services which should have provoked cabinet level resignations. Which, of course, it didn't. Surprise surprise.

Let me be clear: I intend no disrespect to to the bereaved, or the friends and family of the deceased. But todays' hysterical reaction to the news that an Junior Cert. English exam included a question on 'My school Bus journey' is just too much.

Says Eleanor Petrie of the National Parents' Council: "I think it is appalling that it was allowed to go ahead, with this question, knowing that we'd had this national tragedy"

+'Will some please think of the children?'+

So what's tomorrows' outrage Eleanor? A call for the removal of any mention of the holocaust from the History paper? An outright banning of any mentions of Tsunamis from the Geography paper maybe? Or perhaps a complete obliteration of any reference to the word 'recession' from the Economics paper? You never know, Tiny Tim from Bogsville, Co. Self-Importance might get upset because Daddy didn't get that wage increase this year and he can't afford that nice new shiny BMW to drive poor crippled Timmy to his horse riding lessons.

May I ask you Ms Petrie, how do you think a great number of the same students who saw this question today actually got to those exams? Assuming that the 5 series wasn't available, I can only deduce that they walked or (shock! horror! ) they took the bus. That's right: the bus. You may now feel free to wring your hands and screech about the disgraceful insensitivity of the authorities.

"Appalling" says Ms. Petrie. Appaling? The only appaling thing here Eleanor is that there are newspapers so desperate to shift units that they will fill their column inches with crap like this.

Please - shut yer yap and have a bit more respect for the teenagers you claim to protect. I'm sure they have greater worries (like those exams) to be getting on with.

dirtyfrog.gifLock up yer daughters!

It's been brought to our attention here at Globaleyes that a proposed skate park in Bushy Park Dublin is meeting objections from a small number of members of Tennis Ireland.


Allegedly, certain members object to the skatepark. Quite why is not exactly known, but we suspect that it has a lot to do with the notion of hordes of great sweaty teenagers taking the 49 or 65 from Tallaght down to the skate park.

What's the problem?

Skate parks have been used with great social effect in Britain to combat teenage delinquency. Scottish authorities have been singing their praises for years and the police forces back them up by telling us that skate parks reduce delinquency wherever they are built.

Somebody get me an ASBO!

It would appear that SS officer Von Goosestep McDowell is not the only one to have a problem with teenagers: it now appears that rich tennis-playing fuckwits have taken to printing leaflets outlining the horrifying threat that pubescent teenagers with lumps of wood on wheels now pose to their life and limb.

I can only assume that after looting their homes, the skatefucks will then proceed to rape every woman in 30 miles, ransack every house and eat every dog they can lay their hands on.

A council meeting tonight should see an end to this idiocy. We'll keep you posted.

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